I’m so bad at this.

Do you ever say this to yourself? Interviewing, financial management, negotiating, confrontation, conflict resolution, organising things, reporting — over the years speaking to young professionals, this is one sentence I hear so often.

An aspiring freelancer came on a call with me the other day and the first thing she said was, “thank you so much for talking to me, but I’m so bad at this.” Bad at what, I asked. Talking to strangers, she said. Strange, indeed!

This “I’m so bad at this” is most often a defence mechanism. You’re nervous, you’re worried that the other person will judge you, and keep trying to prepare them for what you think will be a disappointment for them, eh?

How about, today, you stop telling yourself — and others — that you’re so bad at something, and start believing that you’re trying your best? When you’re faced with something you’re uncomfortable with: 

• Take a deep breath.

• Promise yourself that you’ll do your best.

• Find calmness — I like drinking water or taking notes for this.

• Focus on getting just a wee bit better than last time.

• Celebrate your small wins.

• Try again from your new and improved position.

Remember: The person you’re talking to is not responsible for showing you kindness, when you’re not doing that for yourself.