Is self-deprecation your defence mechanism? Ranjani, June 2, 2020June 10, 2023 A lot of us have the tendency to beat ourselves up before anyone else gets the chance to. “It reads like shit, but can you look at it?” or “I’m shamelessly plugging this” or “let me take a ‘stab’ at it” or some such. I’ve done this before, and continue to do it at vulnerable times. We need to re-think this entirely. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else has any reason to. Unless I truly love you, I’m not going to spend 15 minutes reading a piece of work that you think is shit. Unless you tell me why I should click on a link, I’m not going to. Humility is one thing. Lack of assertive faith in oneself is quite another. If you truly believe that your work is shit, re-work it until you’re happy. If upbringing or current situation or mental health or social conditioning is causing you unreasonably low self-worth, seek help. I understand this can’t be easy, but try. I’m not saying you should be cock-sure of everything you create. In fact, an artist / creative person without self-doubt is probably a psychopath. I’m only asking you to try not to use self-deprecation as a defence mechanism. Do you really want to be proved right? Freelancing Introspection
An excellent reminder, R. Have you noticed how it’s the better writers and creatives who are more diffident and self-deprecating than the ones whose work is genuinely not good? Defence against disappointment? A manifestation of imposter syndrome? ? Reply
All of this! I think we are also preparing ourselves to hear that we are terrible at something. When criticism comes, at least it’s not a surprise. Reply